cybergeisha

How to use English Punctuation Correctly

With the dawn of the Internet, the birth of Internet slang, and the growing age of SMS, many individuals are forgetting the fundamental aspects of English punctuation. Would you like to write a great paper for one of your classes? Maybe you need to submit a polished, impeccable proposal to your boss? If so, it will help to know proper usage of punctuation. Consider this article a crash course in English punctuation, and read on.

How to use Apostrophes

Do not use apostrophes or quotation marks for emphasis. For example, take a billboard that says: Joe Schmo, the “best” realtor in town! It makes the word “best” appear sarcastic and untrue, rather than emphasized.

Good God, if people would only read these two articles, and nothing else… The Internet would be a better place. I’m sort of a grammar nazi, and abuse of apostrophes, quotation marks, and other punctuational errors sort of break my brain.

Besides, if you don’t pay attention to the article, you risk ending up on the “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks or on Apostrophe Abuse. This is your warning, heed it well!

How to Use There, Their and They’re

The English language is full of problems like the one presented by there, their and they’re. Most native English speakers pronounce these words the same way; therefore, it is difficult for some to judge in which situation to use which spelling. Each spelling means a very different thing; if you’d like to learn the difference, read on!

I often worry about the state of the English language. There’s a trend, obviously, towards typing as we speak, as the self on the Internet has become a second version of the physical self. We don’t see the contractions, punctuation marks, pauses, and other such written things as we speak, so once we start using text as a speech medium, of course it’s less and less common to see properly written things.

Good? Bad? I don’t like it but I don’t know whether it will get better. This isn’t a problem of education, or “where are the parents.” It’s deeper than that.

Recently, one of my favorite websites to read has been The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks. I sent in my own submission - a sign at a coffee shop advertising “lemonade.”

It was, I’m happy to report, good enough to make it onto the site! Behold the photo and the caption bestowed by Bethany, Chief Executive Quotation Mark Wrangler:

“House Made”

The caption is a riot. I’d also like to add that I love how it seems like Raspberry Pink is the color of the alleged lemonade which may or may not be made by or in a house.

Go on over to “House Made”, the entry featuring my submission, on The “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks, to see the bigger version of the photo.

[click to see the best typo ever]

This was in an article titled Women Saved from Burning Building published on KOMO’s website. The article has since been edited to add detail, as well as, presumably, to fix the faux pas.

DotWhat.net is quite possibly one of the Coolest. Sites. Ever. In a really geeky way, but still awesome.

Using DotWhat, the curious can find the definition or meaning or use of any file extension (such as .txt, .asp, .html, et cetera), no matter how obscure or archaic and no matter what operating system. Ever come across an extension you didn’t recognize and think “What the hell does that mean?” or “What program runs that file?!”

The Internet needs not wait in ignorance any longer!

Thanks to Erik for cluing me in to this neat little tidbit!

I am the Gamer Profile of the Month on XXGamers.com. Yay! :D